Remember one month ago, I spoke about my 8Km race. My medals are finally here so I thought it is about high time I pen my post on my experience. So I was a Running Hero for 42 Race in one of my previous posts. You can read more about them here.
To set your image of me right, I am quite a running novice. I only became more active this year. I became a hero because I wanted to challenge myself. But one thing I did so damn wrong was I started on a marathon - Road & Trail 2017 that was made for the experienced runners and I lack the practice.
I am not going to lie, the convention was particularly difficult for me. Firstly, I was very self-conscious. I keep having this nagging feeling that I was being judged (even if no one was even judging me.) I couldn't do most of the exercises and there were many times I wondered...so what am I doing here...
This was dragged over 2 days so it gave me time...to actually contemplate to give up. When I was considering the options I had, there were more reasons for me to not turned up. Imagine 3 hours of pure humiliation/pain/sweat etc. versus 3 hours of quality time spent with the BF for pre-V-Day celebration. In fact, I was dreading it so much I was 15 minutes late for the race.
The first 2 rounds were definitely the hardest. There were so much negative inner voices and my ego took huge blows every time the road ICs indicated a round number greater than mine and I had to correct them. :( I felt a lot like a loser and did plotted to drop out somewhere.
But...on my 3rd lap, a kind mid-tier runner paced me and I felt a lot better when he told me "You don't have to be fastest cos there will be always be someone faster. The point is to complete the race." And so complete the race I did, and I even bring the favour forward, I paced someone slower than me because I knew how it felt when you know you may be last...alone.
I completed the race despite my friends' disbelief and the medic trying to stop me at the first round. This is one of my proudest achievement in my life even though the timing is mediocre and one of my most humbling learning experience. I always don't always give 2 hoots about what most people think. But now I realise that is because I know I am good at it and has a relative good chance of making people eat their words back.
The truth is if you don't give up and keep pushing yourself forward, you will go beyond the limits you set yourself (even for things you suck at). I hope me sharing my experience with you will let you know the inertia to keeping fit you have is not exclusive to you, yourself. You may have to build yourself around more supportive people and try to persist. Remember, you are not alone. Good luck!