The day he held my hand

**Long post ahead**

I know it is so pretty isn't it? When I received my Navy Tassel Bracelet, I nearly died gasping in awe from its beauty. What you see online is really what you get. It is just as classy and as gorgeous. And it was well wrapped in colored tracing papers to make sure it is safe in the mail.

I am so lucky. I received this bracelet on the 7th day of the lunar 7th month, which is also known as the Chinese Valentine day. :) Honestly, on some days, I can dressed pretty sloppily. And the Chinese Valentine Day this year was one of the unfortunate days. I didn't really plan to meet my...erm lover (I just like this label better than the traditional, ole so boring bf haha) that day, until I saw on Goggle that is the Chinese Valentine Day. I couldn't pass up the chance to make a big fuss out of it. It just seems apt to make it the first date after I officially decided to take up his offer on giving me a status. HAHAHA! 

And when I saw this bracelet, the vainpot in me could not resist clasping it on my wrist. I think he is probably fine with me in my comfy look, but I still wanted to gain some brownie points for making an effort to dress up on my moody days. LOL!

Most accessories live in our drawer being beautiful. But this Navy Tassel Bracelet is especially meaningful and special.  

You know what? This boy is my first boyfriend and the first guy who I actually thought could be a nice companion to walk through life together. Before that day, I thought he was passive and shy until he made a sudden grip for my hand. Much to contrary beliefs, the first time holding hands isn't marked by fireworks exploding or champagne popping. For me, it was commemorated by a literal time freeze and a deafening silence. I was blissfully shocked. And so shocked, I was at a loss of words. The natural chatterbox went into hiding. I was clueless. I have absolutely no idea how to respond and what to do and I blamed my girlfriends for not pre-warning the duties of a great girlfriend.

But he was really thoughtful. I really think this lover of mine has absolutely no clue about fashion and style. Somehow, it was sweet of him to comment how pretty the bracelet was. It gave him a good excuse to hold my hand and a great distraction for me to shift my focus to the bracelet instead of my hand being possibly "sexually violated". Haha!

Most girls are probably over the moon when their bfs hold their hands. I am not sure why I reacted so glumly that day. I think it is partially because I am scared. He has really nice hands. Warm, comforting and smooth (seriously, what hand cream is this boy using! His hands are a little too silky for comfort!) I think I am just frightened one day this hand would just stop holding on.

I am rarely so pessimistic but it comes to romance, I am just a non-believer. I have seen too many couples split, too many cases of cheating and sometimes true love just seems just a fleeting fairy tale. Pure feelings in return for empty promises and superficial affections, I don't think my fragile can take that blow. I know this isn't fair to him, and my pessimism is toxic to the relationship. 

I never expected anyone to take me out of the storm.

I just need someone to hold my hand through it.

But one thing I am certain, I like him even if I don't really want to admit it. There are days I want to be the most perfect girlfriend and buy the whole world for him. ( The shopaholic in me is more of the showing of affections through gifts while he is just an act of service man so he isn't too appreciative of that. Haha!) And every time I see him, I just hope that it last a little longer, even a second longer would be good. (Although I complain we are meeting too much, and I am an independent young lady.) And now, I want to write down every little important milestones so that the absent-minded me will never forget the nitty gritty seemingly unimportant details.

I just wish I have more faith. But if really one day, if I walk down the aisle with this young man, please don't tell him how much I adore him and how beautiful I think his soul, his hands, his smile are, this should be kept as a little secret between us 2.

Just a random photo from his good friend, I realized I can even identify his hands. Haha. Good job!

Lastly, I really want to thank Clare from Angelica Florence Accessories for making this jewelry and giving the bashful guy an excuse to hold my hand...and me the courage to hold on to his.