Breastfeeding Journey: Why am I still pumping?

I wish more people had share their breastfeeding reflection. No, I am not talking about influencers who paint a rosy picture, but true, real stories on how difficult it is. I am a Mummy that can't fully supply my baby with breastmilk. And after going through the process, let me tell you why I think this is so.

• My little one is huge. He was such a good size that the nurses told me in the hospital, don't sweat it feed him formula milk if you have to. 
• I did not know latching was the key to increasing milk supply. After I left the hospital. I immediately went on exclusive pumping cos it felt so much more comfortable on the nipples. 
• My pump was not hospital-grade. For a good long time, I was just pumping for an hour and still not clearing my boobs. Sigh. I wish I had listen to the other mothers earlier.
• I didn't have much support from the extended family. Our parent's generation didn't really have the concept of breastfeeding so their first instinct was always to get the baby formula when he cries. I barely had any opportunity to latch him during the first month. :'(

What people never told us was how difficult latching actually was. When I tried to re-latch the baby back at home, my mother had to help me position my child. My boobs were also perpectually sore. My body was literally aching everywhere. I barely had strength to carry my little one and my body had problems recovering because of the lack of rest (I had to wake up every 3 hours to pump). In the end, I fell sick with fever for 5 days and my supply dipped. 

At that point, I really truly wanted to give up on breastfeeding. I miss the taste of alcohol even though I am not a hardcore drinker and I wanted my freedom back. I no longer wanted to be restricted by the 3 hours. But then, my baby was very constipated with formula milk and I have to admit that breastmilk did provide him with very good antibodies from me to counter the flu bug spreading around the house and the germs from his sick mama. 

Coincidentally, at that period I received some Boobkies and Boob Juice from Gooberr for review. And so I thought let's give it one last shot. If my milk supply still continued to drop, then it is a sign to stop breastfeeding. As you you may know, lactation cookies don't work for everybody. My body was growing immune to rolled oats, so I was praying that the brewer's yeast (halal compliant by the way) would do some magic.

At the same time, I was also drinking the ginger fennel lactation tea and fenugreek bergamot lactation tea (S$18 each). I tried to squeeze every value out of it, so I would use each sachet for 1 day worth of refill. There were 12 sachets in each packet, so with this I could last 24 days :D And fortunately for me, my milk supply went back to its original amount. Although my supply didn't increase anymore from there, I was happy that the amount was no longer as little as when I was sick.

For tea time, I would always have 8 boobkies. By right, it was recommended to eat 8 eof them before very pump, but I just recovered from my fever so I was abit cautious about over-doing it. Between the white chocolate matcha and white chocolate earl grey, my favourite was the latter. I love that you could actually taste the strong earl grey flavour, I guess I am a true tea lover. :P Each packet retails at S$19.90 which I thought was pretty reasonably priced. 

Overall, I would think that the boobkies and boob juice was quite a hit for me. I am just thankful my breastfeeding journey wasn't forced to end early because of my fever. To all other Mummies out there, I just want to say don't give up, try all boosters if you really want to continue breastfeeding. Some will be hits, and others will be misses. But if you never try, you would never know! :D

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